i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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