Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
