Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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