i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
