i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
