Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Randomize
