If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
