sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
