I am in a vortex of obligation.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
