I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
