Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
