It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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