In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
