Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
