Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
