I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
