everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Randomize