You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
