I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
