The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
