my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
