that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
