C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
