Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
