Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
