Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize