There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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