How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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