Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize