Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
