I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize
