so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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