We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
