I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Everyone says I win the strip club
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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