You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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