Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
