it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Oh god it's open bar.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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