Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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