i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I checked into jail on foursquare
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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