and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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