White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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