no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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