You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
