Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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