no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
