Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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