Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
