also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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