How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
