no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
