i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
So I just went to clothing optional bar
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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