This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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