I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Your penis caused this!
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
