Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
