Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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