me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
