How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
