So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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