Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
