she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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