I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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