My hand turned me down
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
