yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
