who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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