i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
