she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
