So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
