so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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