My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
