I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
